Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Four minutes until I can fart!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
