Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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