You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
