I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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