i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
