No awkward lesbian experiences without me
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
