I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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