theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
