Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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