He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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