I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize