dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
