i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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