I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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