I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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