The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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