So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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