So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
