she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
