return my video game
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
