her vagine was all disorganized.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
