Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
