Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
