All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
