I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
