i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The struggles of a small town man whore
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
