i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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