you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
