Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
