I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
