Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
