Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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