he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Houston, we have a blender
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
