I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
