Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
