For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
