Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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