Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Randomize
