the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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