did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Randomize
