It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He? As in you personified your dick?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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