I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
