We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
