So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
There's even glitter on my cock...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
