fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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