I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
