Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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