yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
