I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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