i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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