Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
