need another drink. this is the easiest way
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
