no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
