I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
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