If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I enjoy the company of your penis
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
