i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
