We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
